It’s been 142 days, 23 hours, 5 minutes, 30 seconds since I last blogged. (The one in TooHottoHandle was my last blog entry I would consider).
The photo album uploads, lyrics blog entries, my Twits (or Plurks), or Facebook updates won’t count. I dunno where, when, how to begin since then.
Apparently, up to now, I still have that writer’s block. Add to that, laziness just keeps on kicking in.
But the words will come, hopefully, soon.
I Stay In Love
by Mariah Carey
I Stay In Love
Baby, I stay in love with you
Dying inside cause I can’t stand it
Make or break up
Can’t take this madness
We don’t even really know why
All I know is baby I
Try and try so hard
To keep our love alive
If you dont’ know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It’s no mistaking
We’re just erasing
From our hearts and minds
And I know we said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it’s over
You’re really gone
It’s killing me
Cause there ain’t nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you’ll come back around
And I try to front like ‘Oh well’
Each time you let me down
See I can’t get over you
Now no matter what I do
Baby, baby
I stay in love with you
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Baby, I stay in love with you
It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain’t the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gon’ act
Like what we had
Ain’t nothin’ at all
What I wanna do is
Ride shot-gun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can’t last one moment alone
We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it’s over
You’re really gone
It’s killing me
Cause there ain’t nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you’ll come back around
And I try to front like ‘Oh well’
Each time you let me down
See I can’t get over you
Now no matter what I do
Baby, baby
I stay in love with you
“Hi! How are you?”
“Hi! I’m good.” I reply. I want to cringe everytime I say that now. Don’t you want to disappear when the nth person has asked you that question?
Don’t get me wrong, but I really appreciate a person asking me how I am–it’s a proper etiquette to ask a someone how he/she is doing everytime you first see or meet each other. And, it’s also but proper to say the standard reply, “I’m good!” Wouldn’t it be weird to say, “Oh, actually I don’t have money right now. Pautang naman o. [May I borrow money]?” Or “Oh, my boyfriend just broke up with me. Reto mo naman ako, please! [Pair me up with someone]“
Being someone who’s already perfected the art of saying “I’m good!” (and seeming like it), here are my tips on how to LOOK good and FEEL good (when you’re really not), whatever you may be going through:
1. When a person asks, “How are you?”, reply “I’m good, thank you, and how are you?” Always thank the person for asking and ask them how they are as well. That’s being polite. (And diverting the topic as well 
).
2. You may combine it with a beso [peck] on the cheek to the other person, then flipping back your hair or flexing your muscles–for the guys (?).
3. If not in person, put a smiley 
in your IM or text reply
4. And don’t take yourself for granted. Have a make-over, change your hairstyle, at least finally put on some make up, my dear (if you done so haven’t before), work out (buy the Hip Hop abs DVD), watch what you eat, groom yourself well.
5. Do things that would improve yourself. Learn a new knowledge and skill. Are you a frustrated web designer? Learn how to use Gimp at least, if not Photoshop. Enhance your career. Travel to places where you’ve never been to. Try a new hobby like dragonboat rowing, lomography or blogging.
6. Surround yourself with good people. And I mean, GOOD people–your truest friends who you can be honest and transparent with. They are the ones who you can really admit, “Hey guys, the truth is, I’m not OK!” No one else can support you in this time like they do.
7. Reflect and learn. Assess yourself, but don’t blame it all on yourself. What’s important is that learn to love yourself again and get yourself back on track.
8. Build up other people. Yes, sometimes you’d also have to allow other people to wallow and sulk on you. It’s not all about you. Besides, this is your chance to apply the lessons you’ve learned out of all this.
9. But don’t do anything that would make you worse and would hurt you in the end (and may hurt your wallet? Haha). Please, please, PLEASE be wise. Believe me, there are some “diversions” that are dangerous and leaves you in a deeper pit. After your storm has passed, wouldn’t it be nice to look back and say “Wow, I needed that upgrade.” You would want to see yourself as a prettier, sexier, more confident, and smarter woman right?
10. And then, there is GOD. Now, I haven’t done this yet (perhaps I really should and practice what I preach), but you can always lift up your burdens to Him. Now that’s something. Easier said than done, but try it. Fine, I will.
DISCLAIMER: You call this being in denial? Well, you also have to realize the danger of being stuck in the DENIAL stage. Go ahead honey, it’s OK to look and feel good when deep inside you’re not. You just have to be aware and admit to yourself that behind your bright smile and your nice apple green dress is a person who’s crushed, broken, lost. So what if you’re depressed today? There’s always a new day tomorrow. And you have great friends and God with you all the way. So rock on and say, “I’m good!”
Posted by Kristine “Libby” Malibiran
By this time, Kirs may be on her way to Bacolod for the interment of her lola. It was a rather unusual Monday, I received complimentary tickets to the premiere of Sweeney Todd (which I had no intentions of watching but since it was free, then why not!) so my first option to be my movie date was Kirs. She had no inkling or “premonition” of what was about to happen that night. As we were about to enter the cinema, Kirs received a call that her lola passed away right at that moment. Of course, we had to leave! I can’t imagine watching that gory (?) movie knowing that her lola was on her deathbed. Anyway, when we got home, I took charge of immediately notifying our closest friends of the incident as well as giving them the details of the wake.
“Tama ka (You’re right), when I saw her that’s the time I cried…” Kirs told me. Suddenly flashbacks came, I remember my own lola who lived with us and who’s now with the Lord. I remember her last moments on earth, I remember she was in a coma for three days in our house, I remember whispering to her on her last day, “‘Nay, ‘wag mo na akong hintayin…” (Don’t wait for me [to get back from school]). I didn’t want to witness her last breaths and her body being put in an ambulance (I’m the type who can’t bear to see those scenes). We just had to let her go. And she really did go. That day. When we all decided let her go.
All of us at some point in our lives have experienced loss of a family member or a friend. And each of us may have those different “death stories.” But they all have something in common–they’re… unpleasant. Well, that’s really an understatement. I guess what makes the load light for us is when we know for a fact that our loved one is saved and he/she is already with the Lord and we have our family and friends who are just there for us in one of our lowest points of our lives.
Kirs, again, deepest sympathies and may God’s comfort be with you and your family.
PS. If you personally know my friend, please send your condolences and deepest sympathies to her. Kirs’ grandmother was Mrs. Gloria Segovia Guanzon, 96 years old. She died of old age. She lived a full life.
Posted by Kristine “Libby” Malibiran
Here’s the lyrics and chords of UP Ang Galing Mo, the commissioned song for the University centennial performed by the UP Centennial Band. Grabbed from Ronyu’s; you can also download the song from Eloindigoart. Thanks!
—
UP Ang Galing Mo
INTRO:
C#m B A-F#m B
I.
E
Narito kami nagpupugay
E
Sa unibersidad ng aming buhay
C#m B
Ikaw pa rin ang binabalikan
C#m B
‘Di pa rin malilimutan
A F#m B
Ikaw ang UP naming mahal
II.
Salamat sa iyong mga guro
Salamat sa iyong pagtuturo
Taglay niyo ang kahusayan
Taglay niyo ang karunungan
Hinubog niyo kami sa kabutihan
REFRAIN I:
E G#m
Sandaang taon na tayo
A E
Lagi ka pa rin sa aming puso
E G#m
Kaya’t kami’y sumasaludo
A-F#m B
UP ang galing mo
A (break) E
UP ang galing mo
III.
Wala nang iba pang maihahambing
Sa talino mo’t angking galing
Daanin man sa siyensiya
High-tech man o kahit ano pa
Ikaw UP ang nangunguna
IV.
Sa iyong mga dugo ang kasaysayan
Dumaloy sa pag-unlad ng ating bayan
Sagisag ka ng kagitingan
Bandila ka ng kalayaan
Pag-asa ka ng mamamayan
REFRAIN II:
Sandaang taon na tayo
Lagi ka pa rin sa aming puso
Sandaang taon na tayo
UP ang galing mo
UP ang galing mo
(repeat INTRO 2x)
REFRAIN III:
Sandaang taon na tayo
Lagi ka pa rin sa aming puso
Sentro ka ng pagbabago
UP ang galing mo
UP ang galing mo
Sandaang taon na tayo
UP ang galing mo
UP ang galing mo
Posted by Kristine “Libby” Malibiran
Unibersidad ng Pilipinas
Matatapang, matatalino
Walang takot, kahit kanino
Hinding-hindi magpapahuli
Ganyan kaming mga taga-UP!
Iskolar ng Bayan, ngayon ay lumalaban!
My UP spirit just went high again earlier when I’ve read and seen the photos, news, blogs, and Peyups forum about the UP Centennial. Too bad I wasn’t there during the Kick-off. And to commemorate University of the Philippines centennial…
1. Student number?
>> 2000-64413
2. College?
>> College of Arts and Sciences, UP Manila
3. Ano ang course mo? What did you Major in?
>> B.A. Organizational Communication
4. Nag-shift ka ba o na-kickout? Did you shift majors/Courses or were you a kicked out of your College?
>> First year, I was under Doctor of Dental Medicine. (Huwat?). Then I shifted to OrCom.
5. Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT? Where did you take your entrance examination?
>> UP Diliman, College of Engineering
6. Favorite GE subject(s)?
>> History and PI 100 (Rizal)
7. Favorite PE?
>> Bowling
8. Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot babes/dudes sa UP? Where do you hang out to check out the hot babes/dudes?
>> Wait, were there actually hot dudes in UP?! Hmmm… Sa College of Medicine lang ata!
9. Favorite professors?
>> My favorite thesis adviser - Prof. Beringuela! Ahahaha! Though I graduated summer ‘04 (not entirely her fault, I also had me to blame), I got 1.0 for my thesis. And our PI 100 prof. I forgot her name.
10. Pinaka-ayaw na GE subject? Least favorite General Education class?
>> NatSci. Math 11. Anything Math or Science. Haha! (Kaya nga OrCom eh!)
11. Kumuha ka ba ng Wed or Sat classes? Did you sign up for Wednesday or Saturday classes?
>> I think so… OrCom major subjects…
12. Nakapag-field trip ka ba? Did you join any Field Trips?
>> Yup! Went to Mt. Banahaw for one of our history classes and Banaue Rice Terraces. The best!
13. Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP? Were you ever a College Scholar and or a University Scholar in UP?
>> Yep, University Scholar. Uuuyy… Pero one semester lang! Hahaha!
14. Ano ang Org/Frat/Soro mo? What Organization/Fraternity/Sorority were you a member of?
>> Pre-Dentistry Society, OrComSoc (Organizational Communication Society), JMAUPM (Junior Marketing Association University of the Philippines Manila)
15. Saan ka tumatambay palagi? Where did you usually hang-out?
>> JMAUPM / OrComSoc tambayan (we just hang-around there even if there were no classes sometimes), Rob place (our canteen), and Earl’s apartment (to eat, nap, poop, change clothes for an event, do papers and projects).
16. Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay? Did you stay at a dorm, boarding house or did you live at home during college?
>> At home. Commute or carpool with the South people. South people rulez! I can’t be independent… ;))
17. If you had your way, what was your dream course/major?
>> Bachelor of Science in Business Administration (BSBA) or Bachelor of Science in Business Administration and Accountancy (BSBAA) in Diliman.
18. Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP? Who did you first meet at U.P.?
>> My friends in Dentistry-Connie, Suzanne, Julie, Michelle, Dette (who’s married now), Karen…
19. First play na napanood mo sa UP? First play you watched in UP?
>> I don’t remember. Probably none.
20. Name the 5 most conyo orgs in UP.
>> Bigtime Society daw.
21. Name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP.
>> JMAUPM and OrComSoc. (Loyal?)
22 . May frat/soro bang nag-recruit sayo? Did any frat/soro recruit you?
>> Yup. But didn’t join any…
23. Saan ka madalas mag-lunch? Where did you usually eat lunch?
>> Org tambayan or Rob Manila. Tokyo Tokyo (rice-all-you-can) and Chef de Angelo.
24. Masaya ba sa UP?
>> Oh yeeesss! One of the best phases in my life! And one of the best life decisions yet.
25. Nakasama ka na ba sa rally? Did you join any rallies?
>> Yup. Most memorable one was during the Edsa Dos. We walked from Aurora Blvd. to Rob Galleria. Almost became an activist.
26. Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council? How many times did you vote in the Student Council?
>> Once or twice.
27. Name at least 5 leftist groups in UP.
>> Sanlakas-Youth, Akbayan-Youth, BayanMuna, Gabriella, Stand-UP, LFS
28. Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka? Did you dream to be a cum laude/ magna cum laude when you were a freshman?
>> Honestly no. That’s probably why I didn’t. Hehe. Just being able to study in UP (and not dropping out) was already a dream.
29. Kanino ka pinaka-patay sa UP? Who did you have the hots for in UP?
>> Again, there were no HOT guys in UP Manila (at least my time). As far as I can remember, the MEN (and they were quite few) were in College of Medicine. But they were far unreachable…
30. Kung di ka UP, anong school ka? If you were not in UP, what school did you go to?
>> Still UP. UP or nothing. UP or bum-for-life. Because it’s the THE State University and my parents couldn’t have afford any other school (approx. Php 5,000 per sem alright). Probably La Salle, pero namulubi na siguro kami ngayon (we could have been poor now). 
Posted by Kristine “Libby” Malibiran
Neither hot nor cold. Neither here nor there. Neither one or the other.
At least that’s how I am right now as a Christian.
I want to re-commit my life to God yet I’m too lazy to even communicate with Him (well, I only do when I need something from Him). I want to know His purposes for me yet I don’t have the desire to spend some quiet time and open my Bible. I want to be involved again in a church ministry yet I feel I don’t deserve to be a part of one. I want to be accountable again to someone who I can be transparent and share my whole life with yet I feel I can’t be comfortable with or trust anyone from church. I want to reach out to God and cry out “I can no longer do this on my own!” yet I find myself doing things my way, running life on my own strength. I have given up many things for Him–my past, my bad habits, my wrong relationships yet I still always look back and sometimes wish I haven’t.
How many times have I done the prodigal son move (went far away and came back to his father when he was left with nothing/Luke 15:11-32) , and each and every time my Father has always been there, waiting for me. Now, I’m broken. Crushed. Naked. Unworthy. Will He take me back again to His arms and forgive a stubborn daughter like me?
Posted by Kristine “Libby” Malibiran
I’ve had my belly pierced more than a year ago. It was one of those days when I woke up and decided, “Hey, I should get a
belly ring!” (Hmm, this actually added motivation for me to get that Jessica Alba abs. Wait, I think I was also in a rebel/revenge mode that time.). Lunch time, my officemate (who also had one) accompanied me to the mall to get a piercing.
Ouch.
Just recently, after cleaning my navel, I decided to not put back my belly ring for a while. I just remembered I was not wearing it after several days… Now it hurt when I tried to put it back. I really can’t insert it again!
Is this goodbye navel ring? Naaaw! Help!
When I read back my conversations with Kirs such as these, I just smile and think, “Heck, this is the reason why she’s my girl friend!” She knocks my hard head off and brings me back to my senses…
On my hand-carry in 2008 journey…
aliaslibby: i love ur new blog entry
angel_kirs: heheheh thanks
aliaslibby: waaah… That hit me.
aliaslibby: i feel like i’m still carrying some baggage. i just called up joey! i can’t help it!!!
angel_kirs: waaaaaaaaah no way???
aliaslibby: promise.
aliaslibby: it was fine. we talked, greeted each other happy new year, exchanged some stories…
angel_kirs: what happened??? wait so you’re the first one who called?
aliaslibby: ;)) yeah
angel_kirs: huuhuhuhuhu. vaket? [why?]
aliaslibby: we were texting each other first. eh i can’t help it..
angel_kirs: ah rily? what did he say?
aliaslibby: happy new year, how are you’s..
angel_kirs: and then???? what now?
angel_kirs: haaay girl you have a hand-carry in 2008
aliaslibby: is that my fault i still have some feelings for him
aliaslibby: ok, maybe i just miss having someone to talk to..
angel_kirs: hahahahahaha it’s the time of the year
aliaslibby: no, like i still wanna see him, make the most out of it before he leaves
aliaslibby: waaaah!!! :((
angel_kirs: did u guys talks about YOU GUYS? what did you guys talk about?
aliaslibby: no actually.. his work, our holidays, you, his plans in going to bahrain..
aliaslibby: i asked if i was d reason why he’s leaving
angel_kirs: and?
aliaslibby: he said no.. he really had plans in going there on oct 2008 but then it got moved earlier
aliaslibby: but even if he says no, i still feel i’m the main reason why he’s going away..
angel_kirs: wait ang kapal mo huh! [you're thick-faced] hahahaha
aliaslibby: and i actually txtd him “thanks for being a great part of my 2007. u’re the best new person i met in ‘07″
aliaslibby: he said ‘owwwsss…?’
angel_kirs: ahahahah he doesn’t believe it
aliaslibby: so i asked him on d fone, ‘why don’t u believe me?’
aliaslibby: he said he believes me..
aliaslibby: anyways, so u call this hand-carry?
angel_kirs: haha yeah
angel_kirs: it’s not a luggage eh. hand carry for me is always on ur side, unlike a luggage which is far from u in a plane. U always see it, think of it, go back to it often.
aliaslibby: hand-carry. sooo hard. i still want to see him
angel_kirs: that’s ok… then what did u agree on? what was the ending of ur conversation?
aliaslibby: he said he will text me when he’s free next next week daw most likely. he hopes to see me soon
On New Year changing everything overnight…
aliaslibby: new year… you think everything will change overnight. no!
angel_kirs: hahaha you bet!!
angel_kirs: only the year has changed. but not us.
aliaslibby: it’ll take time. i just lifted it all up to God last night.
aliaslibby: fine, i won’t make pilit na [i won't force it].
angel_kirs: yeah you know that’s the best thing to do
aliaslibby: uuurrrggghhh. i’m torn
angel_kirs: hahahaahah tulak ng bibig kabig ng dibdib
aliaslibby: i actually told him, “we should all get together before you leave” (i dragged u into dis :P)
angel_kirs: wahaha you made me an excuse!! asus!
aliaslibby: pero deep inside, it’s just because i really want to see him ;))
angel_kirs: isn’t it obvious??
aliaslibby: i also said, one time kirs and I will surprise u in ur house
angel_kirs: and u included me???
aliaslibby: whatever… bahala na. if it happens then it happens
On loving myself more…
angel_kirs: are you regretting it ba?
angel_kirs: the decision
aliaslibby: no. it’s final.
aliaslibby: ‘cos kirs, i realized i love myself more..
angel_kirs: that’s good heheh. good girl
angel_kirs: yeah! and never settle!
aliaslibby: i love myself more, meaning, i won’t let myself be treated like that..
aliaslibby: yes, i do love him, and it never vanished, but i’m thinking of myself also..
angel_kirs: yup! we deserve to be treated better.. not the type “he’s not that into you” treatment
aliaslibby: maybe he does love me but..
angel_kirs: yup! im sure he loves you
angel_kirs: maybe he’s not ready right now ng seryosohan.. [in being serious], gets?
aliaslibby: i guess that’s why i’m having a hard time leaving my hand carry! because we both love each other but.. it’s just not the right time
aliaslibby: “the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing”
angel_kirs: haay! that’s the hardest thing to leave kasi nasasayangan ka kaya iha-hand-carry mo talaga yan everywhere!
On praying about our future boyfriend/husband…
angel_kirs: ahahah let’s sit around and relax this year
angel_kirs: malay mo it’s our year hehehe
aliaslibby: true! I believe it’s MY year for my career, probably not love life
angel_kirs: i hope career AND love life
angel_kirs: actually now i pray to God about that. before no eh
aliaslibby: you know we really should. i mean, praying about our future boyfriend/husband
angel_kirs: yup
angel_kirs: cos before i dont feel it’s that impt to ask it from God
aliaslibby: We should just let Him pick for us, not us, cos I don’t trust myself anymore hehe
angel_kirs: hahahaaha korek!!
angel_kirs: actually my prayer is that let him find me and let me find him na whoever He has chosen for me hehe
aliaslibby: God knows us better than we know ourselves so He also knows who’s the best match for us.
angel_kirs: true
aliaslibby: that’s right gurl, go.
On going out on dates…
aliaslibby: hay nako i’ll just WAIT
angel_kirs: hehehe don’t just wait
angel_kirs: we have to go out on dates also ;))
aliaslibby: urrrgh. dates can be tiring and pointless
aliaslibby: haha negative na eh no?
angel_kirs: hahaah well true
angel_kirs: that is if di mo type ang kadate mo hahah [if you don't like ur date]
Posted by Kristine “Libby” Malibiran
Two hours to go and it’s officially the New Year. I remember December 2006 I was anticipating 2007 like no other. Mostly because I was in a break-up a month before on that same year and well there’s always this feeling of being able to pull back one’s self, set things right, and gain a better perspective once the New Year starts. You know, New Year, new life. It’s almost as if the New Year is some sort of gigantic eraser that could wipe out all the bad and sad things that have happened for the last 12 months. Every heartache, every mistake, every breaking moment that has brought us tears, and sadness, and pain. And when the clock strikes midnight, we will have officially crossed over from past to present carrying only the good things that have helped us cope before and will most likely be our strength again year after year.
But for the most of us, it doesn’t really happen that way. We might not have carried that luggage of hurt along when we crossed that border but I am sure most of us must have accidentally packed in a few of them in our hand-carry which is even worse than being lugged around for the whole world to see (for in which case you can get reprimanded for), because our hand-carry is always with us. And during those moments of being left alone, we succumb to that urge to open that bag and pull out those little things one by one not noticing that it has piled up again on our laps heavier than ever. So much for leaving them behind.
And now it’s less than an hour and a half and I’m not done with my packing. What should I bring to 2008? I know I have all the good memories already folded inside, each one fondly remembered as I carefully tucked them in each luggage. Every thing has all been accounted for, except for one. One small bag that I remember I accidentally brought with me when I journeyed to 2007 the previous year. That bag that I admit I have opened more than I should have for the past twelve months. An hour to go before midnight and I’m still staring at it. I can’t be stuck with this bag forever and yet for some reason I can’t seem to leave it behind. Again.
I picked up the small bag, turned over its contents and held each one close as if doing that will give me the reason for wanting to keep it with me. But unlike before, I had a different feeling as I went through each hurt, frustration, betrayal, and loss. And then I knew what I had to do. I took out another luggage, placed the items from the small bag into the bigger one and marked it My Special Learnings. Handle with care.
It’s almost midnight and I can’t wait for another exciting journey. All my bags are packed and all accounted for.
And look ‘ma, I have no hand-carry.
Posted by Kirs
