How to LOOK and FEEL good (when you’re really not)

“Hi! How are you?”

“Hi! I’m good.” I reply. I want to cringe everytime I say that now. Don’t you want to disappear when the nth person has asked you that question?

Don’t get me wrong, but I really appreciate a person asking me how I am–it’s a proper etiquette to ask a someone how he/she is doing everytime you first see or meet each other. And, it’s also but proper to say the standard reply, “I’m good!” Wouldn’t it be weird to say, “Oh, actually I don’t have money right now. Pautang naman o. [May I borrow money]?” Or “Oh, my boyfriend just broke up with me. Reto mo naman ako, please! [Pair me up with someone]“

Being someone who’s already perfected the art of saying “I’m good!” (and seeming like it), here are my tips on how to LOOK good and FEEL good (when you’re really not), whatever you may be going through:

1. When a person asks, “How are you?”, reply “I’m good, thank you, and how are you?” Always thank the person for asking and ask them how they are as well. That’s being polite. (And diverting the topic as well ).

2. You may combine it with a beso [peck] on the cheek to the other person, then flipping back your hair or flexing your muscles–for the guys (?).

3. If not in person, put a smiley in your IM or text reply

4. And don’t take yourself for granted. Have a make-over, change your hairstyle, at least finally put on some make up, my dear (if you done so haven’t before), work out (buy the Hip Hop abs DVD), watch what you eat, groom yourself well.

5. Do things that would improve yourself. Learn a new knowledge and skill. Are you a frustrated web designer? Learn how to use Gimp at least, if not Photoshop. Enhance your career. Travel to places where you’ve never been to. Try a new hobby like dragonboat rowing, lomography or blogging.

6. Surround yourself with good people. And I mean, GOOD people–your truest friends who you can be honest and transparent with. They are the ones who you can really admit, “Hey guys, the truth is, I’m not OK!” No one else can support you in this time like they do.

7. Reflect and learn. Assess yourself, but don’t blame it all on yourself. What’s important is that learn to love yourself again and get yourself back on track.

8. Build up other people. Yes, sometimes you’d also have to allow other people to wallow and sulk on you. It’s not all about you. Besides, this is your chance to apply the lessons you’ve learned out of all this.

9. But don’t do anything that would make you worse and would hurt you in the end (and may hurt your wallet? Haha). Please, please, PLEASE be wise. Believe me, there are some “diversions” that are dangerous and leaves you in a deeper pit. After your storm has passed, wouldn’t it be nice to look back and say “Wow, I needed that upgrade.” You would want to see yourself as a prettier, sexier, more confident, and smarter woman right?

10. And then, there is GOD. Now, I haven’t done this yet (perhaps I really should and practice what I preach), but you can always lift up your burdens to Him. Now that’s something. Easier said than done, but try it. Fine, I will.

DISCLAIMER: You call this being in denial? Well, you also have to realize the danger of being stuck in the DENIAL stage. Go ahead honey, it’s OK to look and feel good when deep inside you’re not. You just have to be aware and admit to yourself that behind your bright smile and your nice apple green dress is a person who’s crushed, broken, lost. So what if you’re depressed today? There’s always a new day tomorrow. And you have great friends and God with you all the way. So rock on and say, “I’m good!”

Posted by Kristine “Libby” Malibiran